A Visit With Dr. Roberts

Today I visited my internist, Dr. Roberts. I have been a patient of Dr. Roberts for nearly 30 years. He knows me well.

The challenge today was to get my blood pressure down. He, of course, took my blood pressure. He listened to my heart and felt my hands and ankles. An adjustment of my medication hopefully will do the trick, and I will be fine.

He said something kind of funny to me today. After checking me over, he declared, "At least you don't look bad." I said, "Well, for a 63 year-old-lady, I will take that as a compliment."

Over Dr. Robert's many years of practice, the two of us have had a good rapport. He has told me that a particularly unique exam of mine in his office (which happened about 20 years ago) is at the top of his "favorite story" list. He reminded me of the story today and of its prestige on his list. The story goes like this: I was in for an exam, and Dr. Roberts was checking out my neck. He stopped and said, "Oh, dear, what is this?" I replied, "What do you mean?" He then stated, "There is a lump on your thyroid. It's quite big. Did you happen to have X-ray treatments as an adolescent for acne? They have been proven to cause cancer in later life." I affirmed, "Yes, I did." He looked at me and explained, "Well, this probably isn't a very good thing."

I sat there for a few seconds, and the next thing I knew I was lying on an exam table with a number of people staring down at me. I asked what had happened. This is it. After hearing the upsetting thyroid news, I had passed out. Dr. Roberts had been sitting on a chair across from me at the time, writing notes about my condition (I was sitting on the exam table). As he looked up, I started free-falling toward him. He could see that I was going to hit my head on an edge of a countertop, so he reached out to grab me. So, here I was, mostly naked (remember those paper exam gowns with the backs open?), lying on top of Dr. Roberts. He cried for help, and another doctor opened the door, and without cracking a smile, said to him, "Oh, Phil, is this a new exam technique?" They both thought this was hilarious; and actually, after a few years, so did I.

It turns out that the lump on my thyroid was benign, although I had to have an operation to cut it out. So, you see what I mean when I say that Dr. Roberts knows me well!